Yesterday I finally found myself with a camera. I also found myself with face flat on the cold grass. The sun was starting to set, and it felt a little appropriate to just lay on the level of the grass. The days, weeks, and months have been rollings by. Exciting opportunities, challenges, and everything else in between has been coming so fast since August. That small moment to humble myself with the grass showed me that it at least makes a much better view when looking up to the sun.
Almost is actually an understatement. I barely consider myself a photographer, and I’ve practically resigned myself to leaving my original 365 project half done. And then I remember: It wasn’t ever about being a good photographer. Or a photographer at all. Or having a good camera. Or any camera at all.
It’s about practicing creativity. Consistently, everyday. And publishing it for nobody (or somebody) to read. That’s what is so amazing yet difficult about the creative process. It’s not about the end result. It’s not about what “art” I end up with. It’s about courageously failing.
I got the inspiration to finally post on here after I went on a Photobooth photo shoot with myself. The difference with posting here and say, posting it on my instagram? I have to say that when I post any photo on this blog, i’m making a little statement to myself. Take photos with a little bit of thought behind it. Or none at all. But do something. Then keep doing it. (without hashtags)
Another video! This is a compilation of footage taken at my last shoot, and made as a promotion for the Bhakti Dance Academy (bhaktidance.com). I have to say, I’m starting to enjoy filming a lot more than just taking and editing photos.
The freedom and beauty of a finishing semester usually follows with an eventual emptyness of inspiration. Its funny how when I have the most time on my hands I become the least productive. This might be only for a few more days since I’ll get into a better scheduled routine when I start to work next week. But the last week I spent in West Virginia surrounded by the beauty of the Appalachians at every step. I soaked it in, but still I couldn’t find a way to express myself through photography. I must have taken a dozen half-hearted photos (2 of which I will post here).
I’m working on trying to make a little online portfolio/website for my graphic design work. Hopefully the busier I become the more willing I will be to stay proactive and creative. I’m also really realllly looking forward to Brooke Shaden’s Live photography workshop tomorrow! If there is a one step approach to finding success, then it’s definitely following those that inspire you; and Brooke Shaden has to be not only my photographic inspiration but a role model in how to constantly push and discover myself creatively.
Hm, I didn’t think of this being a dedication post, but I would to one day dedicate some of my work to Brooke. I can probably go on and on for a while, but for your sake I’ll just give you a link to her impressive blog here ;)
And now, so I dont leave you with the most boring post ever, I will leave a few obligatory photos with you:
I know, I know. For the longest time I was a hater. I didn’t like instagram, i thought it was tacky and I didn’t like the idea that every one could be a photographer just because they have the new iphone (ego much?).
BUT. I didn’t sell out, or jump the bandwagon (ok maybe I did). But I do really enjoy using my instagram account because it gives me a place to upload lesser photos and sketches like its no big thing. I like to save my best things for this blog, but its nice to know there’s a site I can dump my other in-progress or just lame self-indulgent cell phone photos (of myself).
And right now there’s not much on it, but i’m thinking I might put more artwork, traditional sketches, and maybe start putting something daily…like a 365Instagrame?! Ha..not likely. But definitely keep your eyes peeled. I’m taking over social networking one over popular website at a time…
http://instagram.com/ieatmyart (or search me @ieatmyart )
I don’t usually post any of my digital work, but since I made this project from the photos I took in my 20-20-20 project (Day 09: Dreamer), I thought I should post on here. I’m really proud with how it turned out, but even more so with how I am able to use the photos taken in my own personal projects.
I won’t go into all the details, but I created this digital project because I wanted to compare star charts to a spiders web. Even though the universe and celestial sky is incomprehensibly vast, as human beings we use our natural curiosity to understand it to the best we can. Similarly I found a similar phenomena in the spider’s web; the spider also creates and maps out its own ‘universe’.
Ok, my little artist statement thus summarized, here are the two works:
I’ve been wanting to plug in my other blog in here for some time. In the summer I started a digital painting blog and it’s been pretty fun exploring painting and digital arts. It’s quite unknown, I made it mostly for myself and probably have less than 5 followers. If you would just like to check it out and maybe follow on tumblr I’d be so appreciative :) Your support always keeps me going.
Almost 4 months since my last post. It’s not only this blog but also photography that I stopped during the entirety of my summer. Besides just being a massive drama queen I’m not entirely sure why I stopped. I wasn’t busy, I had all the time in the world and I even traveled all over the country. Yet the idea of photographing everywhere I went and everything I did suddenly seemed beyond bothersome. Why even bother, right?
I know, this is a drastic change from the previous year. The summer before ALL I did was take photos. One every day for that matter. And it was amazingly satisfying. Go through this blog and see my most active days were last summer. When school started I was STILL taking photos some how, and when I wasn’t I was just writing about how much I love photography. I was like some kind of amazing, persevering dedicated photo dork.
I think earlier this year when I realized I wouldn’t be able to complete my 365 project, that I failed, was a bit of a downer. I got a third of the way through and then…gave up? It felt terrible and that was one excuse I gave myself for stopping photography.
Another reason was just…why? Why feel the impulse to photograph things? And then share it with others? What’s the point of it all? And this summer I just wanted to stop. I didn’t even want to pick up a camera. I had an amazing summer and experienced so many things. But I didn’t want to capture any of it. I just wanted to experience it, feel it, and let it go.
Capturing an experience through my camera just felt like I was trivializing it so much. When you really feel something, a photo isn’t enough to describe it. 1000 words isn’t enough. It was frustrating -like I found the limits of photography. An art form that was so personal to me suddenly become a means of limitation.
But today out of curiosity I just picked up my camera. How would it feel to just take a photo: no expectations of anything good. Just take a snap -it’s not a big deal at all. It’s not some metaphorical symbol of my life. It’s just a photo. And I did. And…it wasn’t terrible. It was actually kind of nice. I was terrified of the commitment: does taking one photo mean I have to take one every day all the time? Do they all have to be masterpieces? People expect me to take good photos, I expect myself to take great photos!
Expectations. Commitment. Heart ache. It feels like I’m in a relationship with my camera.
So maybe i’ll start taking more photos again. Maybe not. Maybe i’ll update more often, maybe not. I’m just not really going to lay out any expectations. And usually that’s the best. Usually that means something good is going to happen. But also that means I’m really going to be a bother to my subscribers.
Black and white photos again prove that it can make anything look sophisticated, even baby powder. This shot is just a small preview for a shoot I’m planning on using portraiture and powder for this technique.
On another note, it’s Gingerberries 1 year anniversary! Whoo! That calls for a celebration. Then again 1 year anniversary means I should be at day 365 right about now, so maybe not. Anyway, because of my multiple hiatus and breaks this year i’m about 1/3 of the way. But even if it takes me 5 more years I’m going to reach that day 365. So here’s to….. perseverance.
All you need is to give yourself a hand sometimes.